My Testimony

j0400145 I’m a Christian and I’ve been asked by people online to share my testimony.  What they generally mean by that is how I came to “know” Christ. I thought, maybe, it was time I posted it on my blog. So here goes:

My parents weren’t religious people and they certainly didn’t live a “Christian” life. To put it mildly, they were potheads.  I remember being told about Jesus at Christmas time (but strangely not a Easter time) and never really doubting that Jesus loved me (childlike faith I guess) but we never EVER went to church and nobody read the Bible in my house.

My parents divorced when I was 9 years old and through manipulation and trickery my dad got custody of me and my broth. Dad was a heavy drinker and a partier – and still a pothead.  Somewhere in there dad “got religion” which meant that for a while we went to church, until they told dad he should try to stop drinking and partying – then he decided that church goers were just a bunch of hypocrites. So he started studying the Bible with my mom’s uncle/father (dysfunctional with a capital D) who styled himself some sort of messiah.  That didn’t last long either. Dad doesn’t do well with being told how to think or act. But he did give me a Bible during that time and I read it without doubting anything in it.

One day I when I was 15, I read a book called “Genesis Revisited.”  It gave an alternative to the God of the Bible. Now, the alternative was a little out there for me but some of the arguments against the Bible made sense. That’s where doubt started to creep in. I started to read about myths, archeology, religions, and a lot of related stuff. The more I read the more I doubted. I wanted to believe. I read all kinds of apologetics in the hopes I’d be convinced…but I wasn’t. I decided that people believe in a god because they are afraid of dying (and I still believe that’s true for most people). I hoped that one day God would reveal Himself but I never believed He would.

My mom got “saved” when I was 28 (she got baptized before that but says she didn’t feel saved after it.) She got me to go to church with her sometimes but I told her I didn’t know if there even was a god (that’s’ how I would put it). I moved away to Florida and then moved back to the NW after 5 years into my mom’s house. She said one of the conditions of living with her was going to church, so I did.

One day, after a couple months, the pastor announced that they needed a secretary. At the time I had a job in the library and didn’t need another. I told my mom that she should apply. And then I heard a voice (for real don’t make fun ok) that said “that’s for you.” Not profound or anything but still, it was a voice. At first I disregarded it but when it was time to leave, I couldn’t. I tried, but I couldn’t. So I went to the pastor and trembling as if I was cold, told him I wanted to apply.

I interviewed and was practically hired on the spot (there were other applicants). Something happened when I started working as the secretary. I had faith in God. Three months later I was baptized and I have felt my faith growing since that time. I can’t say I NEVER feel doubt, but I can say when it creeps in, something quickly banishes it.

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